A Funny Think Happened On The Way To The Park

A funny thing happened on the way to the park,

I’ll tell you, just listen to this:

As we walked past the pond and the nest full of larks

Was a sight that one just could not miss.

Pigs, there were, four of them, all pink and brown,

Would you believe it? I didn’t at first.

Just nibbling grass and mooching around

By the trees, and rolling in dirt.

Now, I know what you're thinking, I know you attest:

"With this sight, whatever is wrong?"

And right you would be if we lived near some fields but

In London town, pigs! They just do not belong.

I would not have believed that these creatures were swine

If not for the informative sign:

“Do not feed the pigs” said the sign of the swine

And so swine they most certainly were, I resigned.

“Breathtaking beasts,” I said to the baby

Sitting nearby in a pram.

Baby had no response - enraptured, I guess -

So I turned my head back to the pigs and their mam.

“Yoo-hoo!” I proffered to this curly-tailed gang,

“Oi, look over here, look at me!”

But the gang didn’t care for my friendly advances

They only cared for their grub, do you see.

Pigs after my own heart, I thought to myself,

Wise beasts are these pink things, I think.

Now let's get the hell out of here, sharpish, let’s run.

They may be smart but, good Christ, do they stink.

Best Of Friends

I didn’t much like you when you arrived,

I made no pretence of that.

I preferred my house the way that it was,

I really didn’t care for a cat.

I barked at you daily, I growled (to your face!),

I never went near where you were.

I left rooms that I sat in when you strode by

I didn’t like your fur. Or your purr.

But you didn’t care for my whines and my barks,

You laughed at my snooty asides.

You pretended I didn’t exist for a while,

You laughed when I thought you should cry.

I liked that you didn’t seem scared of my woof,

So thought that I’d give you a go

And see if you had what it took to live here

To see if this braveness was real or for show.

I touched your small head with a nudge of my paw

And waited for you to attack.

But all you did was nuzzle my face with your ear

And turn so my nose scratched your back.

An odd response, yes, from a cat to a dog,

But we’ve never been like the rest:

You don’t have a name, for a start,

Y’know? And I like your cat food the best.

I could see right then that we would be pals

And hang out all of the time.

The others may bark and meow to our face

But together I know that we will be just fine.